Monday, 23 December 2013

TNA Analysed 32 - TNAMAGNUSWTFBBQ?!


So yeah this is slightly different from the usual TNA Analysed post but I just watched the "thrilling" conclusion to the World Heavyweight title tournament match between Jeff Hardy and Magnus and I am confused as fuck.

A few other things before the match.  Why does Magnus say "I can't help where I was born", well fuck you Magnus.  So what you wish you were born in the United States?  Not knocking Americans here but if you ponder say Kurt Angle using the same line in a promo to a theoretical Canadian or Mexican crowd, you would be a little offended.  Magnus had already pissed me off when he effectively said only his opinion or the opinion of others who work in the business should hold weight when it comes to criticism.  This remark is the icing on the cake really in so far as my utter dislike of him as a wrestler and a professional.

But now on to the match itself which was carried entirely by Hardy.  Magnus either barely sold Hardy's moves making Hardy look weak, or sold them so strongly he looked fucking ridiculous.  I mean look at how he sold the whisper in the wind off the cage, then compare it to how he sold Hardy's double footstomp in the corner.  Magnus looked like shit in the match but that wasn't the really odd thing about it.  Prior to the match beginning Dixie and Hardy have a big argument about how he owes Dixie everything, which is bullshit because his fame and fortune comes from his time in the WWE and not in TNA.  That aside this clearly set us up for the finish ahead of time in the usual dumb booking way TNA has become accustomed to.

So during the match Dixie and Ethan stand on the ramp near the ladder that will be used to win the match, presumably to ensure Magnus wins in case Hardy gets out of the cage first.  But no that shit would be standard procedure, instead Ethan attacks Magnus when he escapes the cage and tries to actively assist Jeff.  However since Jeff is now an angel in human form he attacks Ethan to help Magnus out.  Now at this point we have zero god damn idea what it is Dixie wants.  Does she want Magnus to win? or Jeff?  I guess there will be some explanation the following week but I doubt it will pass muster.

Anyway Hardy reaches the ladder after stunning Magnus and is near to winning when Rockstar Spud pushes the ladder over.  Spud then shouts to Magnus to take the opportunity to win the match and title, which he does in true heel fashion to become the champ.  Dixie now seems over joyed even after she sent Ethan Carter to attack him minutes prior.  Worse still is when Magnus shakes Ethan's hand, further complicating this train wreck of a finish. 

I understand the need to have a heel champion to continue this heel Dixie storyline but why did the finish have to be so bloody wacky?  Would have been so hard to have Magnus win the title legit and then turn heel by throwing his lot in with Dixie?  Having him win due to act of stooge completely robbed him of any heat he managed to gather previously.  The only part I understood of the entire finish was Spud's motivation in that he helped a fellow Englishman win but the whole Ethan Carter interference thing was just weird.

The other major issue I have been having with the program recently has been the overall content length.  On challenge TV over here the show runs roughly two hours with advertisements but if you cut them out it's around one hour of actual Impact wrestling.  A majority of the show is re-caps of the previous week, spliced with interviews from the same week they didn't broadcast.  This is done to fill the gap in the show because they have a tiny roster, little money and piss poor booking.  At least during the Bischoff and Hogan era they had more wrestlers to put in the ring, now we just have filler mixed with ads and some matches sprinkled in every half an hour.

Example, this weeks show just gone had three matches.

  1. Knockouts tag match
  2. Angle versus Roode best 2 out of 3 falls
  3. Hardy versus Magnus for the title
That was it for a two hour show.  This is how Impact has been run for the last few months and it's somehow worse than it used to be which could be considered an achievement in some odd way I guess.  Either way it's indicative of a show that is running out of idea's fast.  The only highlight of TNA's 2014 will be it's UK and Ireland tour which regularly has big crowds.  Outside of that though it's likely to be high school gyms and community centres from then on.

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