Tuesday, 30 July 2013

TNA Analysed 16 - Bound for Glory?


Now this is still sort of based around the whole "TNA ain't got no fuckin' money" rumours that have been flying around for I don't know, 11 years?  Ever since the company started it was never a financial success and let's be honest here people, if it wasn't for Spike TNA would be like the indies, if it even continued to exist at all.  Without the television deal keeping it afloat combined with the money it receives from Panda energy group it would be like WCW before it.

But I want to talk about Bound for glory, at least the idea's and creative process around this pay per view.  TNA always bill it as the biggest wrestling pay per view of the year and they mean in all of professional wrestling.  Of course you are going to big up your show, nothing wrong there but what I always feel confused about is just how much like any other TNA pay per view Bound for glory is each and every year.  They don't have a special match type for the show, they don't have any entertainment between matches, no large pyro, no big pay offs to feuds either.  A lot of the time it merely continues long running feuds rather than ending them and does little wrap up the current plot to begin a fresh one.

 Let's look at Bound for glory 2012.

  1. They opened with RVD and Zema Ion as they feuded for a belt nobody cares about, not even creative give a shit until it is required for their version of money in the bank using the X-division title as a briefcase.
  2.  Match 2 was Samoa Joe and Magnus as they feuded over the now defunct Television title.  Magnus pretty much got squashed here as a heel which was par for the course really since he failed to win a single match against Joe during the feud.
  3. The third match was Storm and Roode continuing their never ending feud over who hates who the most.  This was also the infamous match where King Mo acted as outside enforcer, never once enforcing anything because it was a street fight so it had zero rules, and no one did a run in so King Mo just looked awkward and shocked at some of the moves.  
  4. Joey Ryan and Al snow had the middle of the show to fill the toilet break point for most fans.  The match was terrible because Snow can't wrestle anymore.  Ryan tried his best but when your big match on TNA's biggest pay per view of the year is grappling with a practically retired wrestler, you aren't going to be showing off much talent.  And what happened with this match?  Nothing.  Joey Ryan got his contract and was barely seen afterwards, making sporadic appearances until his partnership with Matt Morgan.
  5. The tag team title match had the potential of being the best on the card but as soon as Chavo and Hernandez hit the arena the boo's where constant.  Nobody wanted to see Chavo wrestle and certainly not win the fucking titles.  Daniels and Kazarian did a good job but when don't they?  Finally AJ Styles and Kurt Angle rounded out the match by being the odd team out since their partnership was based on not liking Aces and Eights and both being recently attacked by them.  It seemed obvious that creative had no idea what to do with either of them for the show so stuck them in a tag match to draw some fans.
  6. Tara and Tessmacher had a forgettable match that at least ended a feud between them as Tara won the belt after turning heel.
  7. The Aces and Eights in the form of now fired D.O.C. and Knux took on Sting and a then pretend babyface Bully Ray in a no DQ tag match with the stipulation that if the Aces won they would have access to the Impact zone.  The logic behind this match was wacky to begin with because the Aces had already been running around the Impact Zone anyway and this so called official access meant nothing because they already had a fucking clubhouse in the building anyway.  The match was crap and again didn't exactly light up the wrestling world when one of your opponents was a masked nobody and the other was Festus.  Also Bully Ray coming out wearing Sting-esque facepaint was both goofy and wince inducing bad.
  8. The finale was another Jeff Hardy victory in a year where TNA had become desperate to keep the charismatic enabler in their locker room.  He ran a long match with Aries for the title but the end was so obvious to see for all watching that you may as well have turned off the television during Hardy's entrance.  I am talking Cena levels of predictability here in his matches during 2012.
So yeah 2012's bound for glory wasn't exactly brilliant and I could list comparisons with 2012's wrestlemania but that would be unfair when it had things like you know Undertaker and Triple H in a hell in a cell match, Punk and Jericho for the title and The Rock beating John Cena clean for the finale.  Ignore the rest those 3 matches alone shit all over Bound for Glory 2012.

My other issue though is the Bound for glory series which for those of you who don't know (lucky you)  is a fake series made to look like a league where each win is worth a certain number of points.  The person with the most points at the end becomes the new #1 contender and has a match at Bound for Glory.  This would be OK except they fill the series with numerous characters who you know are never going to win.  Much like the Royal Rumble each year, TNA pretends that anyone can win when in reality it will always be a core number of characters who win. 

This years BFG series features the following contestants:
  • Magnus - Current leader but probably due a kayfabe injury to keep him from the #1 spot since he is a foreign wrestler and we all know how exclusive professional wrestling is.
  • Samoa Joe - Current second place holder but again being part of the main event mafia will likely be dropped from the series due to creative.
  • Christopher Daniels - a definite no hoper for the win since he hasn't been considered title worthy since Hogan took over.
  • Mr.Anderson - who will also be losing the series because of his involvement in the aces and eights plot.
  • Jeff Hardy - The most likely winner because of his ability to sell merchandise.
  • Austin Aries - Not sure about Aries this year.  They do seem to be doing....something with his character but what that is may change ten or fifteen times between now and this Thursday.
  • Hernandez - Fuck no
  • Jay Bradley - A guy who could actually be showing some of his skills off is consistently squashed in the series.  Every match he has lost and I struggle to see why we should be getting behind a gut check winner who never fucking wins.  He has had 4 matches and lost all of them.
  •  Kazarian - Like Daniels his career has been on pause since the Hulkster shuffled into the Impact zone and tried to eat brains to sustain himself.
  • Bobby Roode - The longest running TNA champ of all time currently wallows in ninth place with zero points.  Great way to put over your top talent by burying him in a series of matches for a chance at the title.
  • Finally we have Joseph Park who is a joke entry at best.  The character has run it's course and it's only a matter time until we see Abyss come back.
So as you can see only a small number of the entrants will actually be in the running and creative will have already settled on the winner a while back now, so I wonder why fans should be interested in this at all.  It's fake so having a league makes no sense because the wins and losses don't mean a thing, unlike other sports where wins and losses are everything.  Professional wrestling is supposed to be fun to watch because of the stories and fights, not how many points a submission victory is worth.

In the end this years Bound for glory will go off with a whimper or loud squeak before quickly deflating.  Expect to see Bully Ray with the title or fighting for it somehow in the main event.  Brooke Hogan will probably turn heel, AJ Styles will become a babyface again and the Aces and eights will implode.  I hope it's a little more interesting of course but this is TNA after all.

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