Thursday, 14 March 2013

TNA Lockdown Review


Well it's finally here the TNA pay per view to end all pay per views, it's Lockdown live from a small corner of the Alamo dome.  The crowd here may look large but considering the rest of the arena area is tarped off from a 72,000 capacity arena, it ain't that great.  The problem I am having here is that management decided to hire out the massive 72,000 seat arena for Lockdown, but for Slammiversary they are going to use a 7200 seat arena?  Shouldn't this be the other way around?  Isn't Slammiversary a bigger event for the company?  Anyway the crowd here is apparently a new record for TNA of around 10,000 fans which is respectable, but still a long way off from their main competition, and this is while WWE aren't bothering to compete with them at all, imagine what would happen if WWE started going head to head with TNA.  I think TNA would cease to exist very shortly afterwards.

X-Division Title Match - Zema Ion VS Christian York VS Kenny King

"Me botch? What you talkin' about?"
Yeah I like the fact they are starting with the X-Division match, but why is Zema wearing cardboard shades that look like they have been made out of a cereal box?  Other parts of his ring attire look like they have cardboard bits glued on also.  The match has a pretty spectacular botch early on with King trying a moonsault dive onto York who is on the rails outside.  King fails to flip and bounces the back of his head off the railing.  Now this is pretty embarrassing, but it's made worse when TNA play 3 replays of it during the match as if it was some awesome spot.  King remains a little stunned throughout the rest of the match.  York is a little sluggish and his pace is all over the place which drained some of the energy from the match, while Zema was the best here and really carried the match on his own.  Still Kenny King wins since he has only just become the X-Division champ so it would be weird to take the title off his without a story to back it up.

The match is decent though for an opener, it just lets itself down with the early botching and sluggish pace in the early stage.

Singles Match - Joey Ryan VS Joseph Park

Not quite sure why this match is happening really.  I guess they wanted to use Park and Joey Ryan wasn't doing much of anything really.  I think they could really use Joey in the midcard to a better effect since he would be a mildly entertaining heel with a val venis gimmick for TNA fans.  Anyway the match is forgettable and mostly involves Park walking around looking shocked all the time and staring at the crowd asking them what to do next.  Before long he crushes Joey and wins the match.  Also I can assume from this entrance that Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan are no longer friends since he is again missing from a TNA pay per view.

In the backstage area Hogan goes all gooey over Bully Ray calling him his son and wanting to love vicariously through him when he becomes the new champ tonight.  If Bully wasn't already a member of the aces I would have expected him to join them after that attempt at bromance.  Of course while Hogan talks about how great Bully is, he has to name drop Andre like seventeen times as if that is the only thing he is famous for.  Guy is worse than Chavo for mentioning Eddie.

Knockouts Title Match - Gail Kim VS Velvet Sky

Taryn goes mental and has WWE flashbacks
This match wasn't worth running since it was short and only served to add Taryn to the roster of female wrestlers.  Seriously the match was dull as dishwater and the only moment that got the crowd going was when Gail and Taryn started fighting instead.  Gail gets pissed with Taryn, slaps her in the face to get DQ'd but instead Taryn attacks Gail (which she no sells afterwards) and allows Velvet to win.  Honestly the match was shit and probably the lowest point of the show.  One amusing aspect is when freaks out and starts screaming, her hair extensions start falling apart and covering the ring.

Grudge Match - Robbie E VS Rob Terry

Ah yes the conclusion to a feud that nobody cared about.  Really this story was coming a long way off, pretty much from the day they formed really.  The idea of the little guy taking on a monster is always a interesting match idea but only when the little guy is either a face or very over heel.  Robbie E is pretty much comic relief for the midcard.  Rob Terry is a huge guy who could over as a genuine threat to the champion, but of course like WWE they simply bury him in gimmicks and destroy all his credibility as a huge powerhouse wrestler.

Not a single member of the crowd care about this match as they seem to talk amongst themselves more than cheer for the match.  Robbie E has a few brief moments of being on the offensive but this doesn't last long before Rob completely mauls him.  The end result is obviously a win for Rob terry and the only time the crowd makes a noise is when the fight is over.  This match didn't need to be on a pay per view, it should have been a mid show filler for impact.

Triple Threat Tag Title Match - Chavo & Hernandez VS Kazarian & Chris Daniels VS Austin Aries & Bobby Roo

Kazarian always does a good leg drop
So yeah after remembering to renew Roo's contract which management had apparently forgotten about until Roo asked them himself, the tag champions were a man down.  Fortunately for TNA they got Roo to sign a new contract and he is here for the match.  This match in my opinion was the best of the night.  It had plenty of good spots, nice moves and a satisfying ending for an already entertaining bout.  Really that is what makes this match great is the entertainment, even if you don't like certain wrestlers because they can run a match that keeps you interested throughout.  Roo and Aries retain the titles after a long match.

I have to complain about the whole triple threat aspect though since the match isn't a true triple threat match.  How does it make sense to only have 2 of the 3 teams in the ring?  Why would either of the two men who are fighting tag in the other team?  You wouldn't since it is only reducing your chances of winning.  Not like this matters much because the match breaks down into a tornado match anyway with tags only being made when a certain spot requires such a thing, otherwise it's whoever is in the ring at that time is counted as the legal men.  It's chaotic and is what always happens to TNA tag matches, I don't know why they don't just decide to do away with the tag rule and make every team match a tornado bout.

Steel Cage Match - Wes Brisco VS Kurt Angle
Angle attempts to bash some skill into Brisco

This match was also pretty forgettable really.  Angle does his best to put over Brisco who is still moving around the ring like a newbie.  I just get the feeling that Brisco is comfortable in the ring yet and it shows.  The match is bland and had a few high spots with Angle half killing himself to do things like German suplex Brisco off the top rope and landing badly.  Brisco wins when Angle leaves the cage after knocking out the ref.  D'lo attacks Angle and throws him back in and drags Brisco out.  D'lo hides from the ref even though the match is no DQ and jumps up anyway when Brisco is declared the winner.  I wouldn't recommend watching it though since it was pretty boring.

Lethal Lockdown Match - Team TNA VS Aces & Eights

Hands down the most hilarious match of the year so far.  It was fucking terrible to watch in a good way.  The roof of the cage apparently broke during rehearsal so the weapons had to be brought down to the ring by Sting, who was last in obviously.  Before the weapons are brought down the match is like watching a slow royal rumble match with no one being able to eliminate each other.  I don't get the early parts of this match because there is no tension, it's just a steady stream of wrestlers walking into a cage to hit each other for no real gain. 

When the weapons come in though the match becomes fucking atrociously funny.  Basically the Aces get hit repeatedly with the weapons Sting brought for about 7 or 8 minutes to comic effect.  The Aces completely no sell the vicious beating and low blow all of the faces to start hitting them with the weapons, only for the faces to suddenly have a second wind and pummel the Aces down again.  The finale comes when Eric Young elbow drops Knux from the top of the cage for the 3 count.  This match wasn't great but it was funny to watch of the last few minutes.

World Heavyweight Title Match - Bully Ray VS Jeff Hardy

Soon there will be more Aces than TNA wrestlers at this rate
This match was pretty much a cut and paste cage match really, but with no face to cheer for.  Bully and Hardy are both massively over with the fans so they don't know who to cheer for, while both men continue to run the same old tired escape the cage type moves they always do in these types of fights.  Hardy ends up injuring himself doing a spot on the top rope during this match which isn't anything new for him.  Bully eventually ends up winning due to his master plan finally coming together.

Apparently Bully has been the leader of the Aces and Eights since the beginning.  My brother called this around week 2 of the story starting back in 2012 so it wasn't that much of a swerve.  So Bully must have sat back weeks before and thought "I need to marry Hogans daughter, recruit several of the backstage area, get over as a face and win Hogans trust".  That's a list and must have been immensely difficult to orchestrate.  Wouldn't it have been better if they had just challenged Hardy to a title match and had the mysterious leader be his opponent?  The Bully could do the big reveal after winning the title?

But of course this story was so Brooke could get more screen time and allow Hogan to remain in the title picture, if only peripherally.  This entire marriage story and subsequent betrayal was only there to promote the Hogan duo as being important to the story.  People are calling this the highlight of the show but for me it was a Russo style swerve that was about as a shocking as the RAW GM being Hornswoggle.


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