Thursday, 13 December 2012

TNA Review: Final Resolution 2012

Holy shit this pay per view sucked balls.  That should be the end of the review right there but I should go into the details of why this show sucked ass. 

Now to be more specific as to why it sucked.  It wasn't the actual wrestling that was on show here which in some cases was pretty good, one of the standouts being Austin Aries and Bully Ray.  But for every Aries and Ray we have a RVD and Kenny King.

They opened the show with 8 minutes of talking.  Yeah a show people paid for opened with an argument between James Storm and Kazarian.  Now the match between Kaz and Storm was OK, but did it have to have such a long boring introduction?  

I find it hard to like Storm since he is a carbon copy of Shawn Michael's
The X division title match was bad.  RVD was sweating like a rapist within the first couple of minutes of the match which then set the pace for the entire fight.  It ran like this.  RVD does a move or two, Kenny King reverses, RVD rests for a bit, RVD does another move.  This was the match in a nutshell.  King had to carry RVD the entire time and had to end the match with a loss so RVD could remain champion.  This match had some real clunkers in it as well.  The best being RVD on the corner being kicked in the head, then taking a second before he throws himself off the top to the outside.  It looked so bad.

I just don't get why TNA are giving RVD this long a title reign and not run a story to go with it.  Also why hire an obviously talented performer like Kenny King and continually shit on him every chance they get?  He would be a good X division champion.

RVD did a lot of the match resting like this
The Knockouts title match between Tara and Mickie James was again passable but not really that great.  The most memorable part of the match was Mickie's awful ring attire which consisted of a flesh pink top, which barely covered her chest and a weird denim dungaree thing, that looked more uncomfortable and likely to get in the way than anything else.  Tara won again with help from Jessie who also got another "who are you?" chant.

I like how TNA push guys regardless of the fan reaction.  I know WWE do this with Cena, but if any other wrestler in their roster got a chant like that they would be repackaged fairly quickly to avoid the negative reaction.  TNA seem to run under the logic that if they ignore the fans long enough they will get bored of chanting and move on.

Austin Aries versus Bully Ray was a really good but sadly short match.   Bully has the advantage for the majority the time kicking the crap out of Aries.  Some of the hits where particularly nasty such as when Aries went head first into Ray's boot during a suicide dive.  Despite the beating Aries wins after Ray gets cut open and Brooke comes down to make sure he is alright.  Hulk comes out to drag her backstage while Bully tells her he will be alright.  Aries low blows him and gets the pin.

This was the most interesting picture TNA had of this match
The tag title match between New Mexican America (well it is let's face it) and Sleazy giant (a name I made for them) was bland and boring.  Hernandez and Morgan look great for the camera but suck at wrestling.  Joey Ryan didn't get much of a match in as he just acted as fodder for Chavo and big Hern. 

They botch the finish here as well where the match is clearly meant to have ended in a disqualification.  Morgan is meant to grab the ref's leg and drag him outside to prevent the three count but he is too slow and the ref counts three.  But instead of calling for the bell the ref DQ's Morgan when he drags him outside after the three count.  Weird finish indeed.

The 8 man tag match between the aces and eights and team Angle was OK but again short.  I don't know why they made some of the matches shorter, OH WAIT! it was because they wasted near 10 minutes on James Storm and Kazarian.  Team Angle win after a long period of chaos in which I lost track of who was legal in the match and wondering if the ref knew, and then if the wrestlers knew who was supposed to be pinned.

Brooke cost Bully the match but they won't write this into the show
Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles was likely the match to have had the most going into it.  At least you have a feud and a story here even if it did take more than a year to get to this point.  So yes it was a good match, but are you really surprised?  AJ and Daniels are pretty good and deserve more time as the company front men since they give a damn about TNA unlike Jeff Hardy, RVD and Kurt Angle.  AJ loses and I agree with this finish since it means that AJ can now either go heel and have a fresh story angle or allow TNA to repackage his babyface persona a little.

The finale was a shitfest.  Hardy and Rooo has sucked in the past and nothing changed here.  I don't get why Hardy is still so popular even after all the crap he caused for every company he has worked with.  Hardy wins of course, because TNA are terrified he will leave next year and so want to give him everything he wants so he will stay.  Post match the Aces and eights attack Bobby Rooo probably to suggest that even if you pay them to attack people you aren't safe yourself.  Frankly I find myself liking the Aces more than any of the current roster because they get shit done.  As soon as Eric Bischoff is revealed as the leader and the group become regular members of the roster they will suck, but until then at least they are effective.
The future of TNA?   God I hope not, Wes Brisco sucks

So if the wrestling didn't suck, why did this pay per view suck balls?  Because nothing happened that is the reason.  Not a single belt changed hands, not even the fucking X division title the least cared about belt in the company.  The whole point in a pay per view is to change the champions around to end feuds and start new ones, not keep the status quo.  Yes the non title matches had more going on in them but apart from AJ and Daniels they added nothing to the show plot wise anyway.

This is the last pay per view of 2012 here TNA and you decided to run it like a special episode of impact complete with the now mandatory 10 minute talking segment before a match occurs.  I was surprised we didn't get Hulk Hogan come out to talk about how much 2013 will be the year of TNA, just like 2010, 2011 and this year where apparently the years that TNA would reach new heights.  No doubt this announcement will come this week on impact.

Fly, AJ fly!
I am glad I don't pay for these shows here in the UK because frankly if I did this would mark my first and last TNA Pay per view.  Final Resolution resolved nothing and only serves to highlight the unimaginative and archaic writing style of the creative team in TNA.  Here is what I would have done with each match:

X division title:

Kenny King wins starting a friendly yet heated rivalry between RVD and King as each man go back and forth into the next pay per view.  I would introduce Christian York into the mix a month before the Genesis show to make it a three way to keep the pressure off RVD and give the belt to York who then feuds with king.

Knockout Title:

Jessie would have been banned from ringside during the match because of his constant interference in the match.  This would have angered Tara so much that in desperation to keep her title she attacks the ref to get disqualified.  Jessie comes out to celebrate her title defence until Brooke Hogan restarts the match with ODB as an outside enforcer.  Tara would lose the title after Jessie gets bitch slapped by ODB distracting her.  Tara would the feud with ODB over the #1 contender spot.  Velvet Sky in the mean time would take the spot from the winner and challenge Mickie at Genesis.

Tag Team Title:
No I don't understand why he has the mask either.

Morgan and Ryan would win basically.  It makes no sense to have Morgan who is supposed to be getting revenge on Hogan to lose, so to continue his quest so to speak he wins the belts.  They would feud with Chavo and Hernandez and possibly Daniels and Kaz, while Morgan continues his attacks on other TNA champs to get Hogans attention.

TNA Title:

Hardy would retain the title after being attacked by the aces and eights.  Roo would also be attacked by the aces during the match.  This would give a possible angle. with Rooo and Hardy joining forces briefly to get revenge on the aces.  Emphasis would be on Rooo still being a heel, but being forced to work with Hardy to get the aces for what they did. while James Storm becomes the new #1 contender.


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