Monday, 6 August 2012

TNA Review 5th August 2012

Tonights episode the writers decided to get all "crazy" and have a match start before the shows intro titles had rolled.  A brawl has broken out between the tag teams of Bobby Roooo and Zema Ion against Austin Aries and Kenny King.  Eventually a real match begins, but not before Tenay and Tazz tell us about fifteen times that "this is live" and "its a great way to start a show".  If this is what the creative team thought was a dynamite idea to open a show, then TNA are about 20 years behind on good ideas.

Tag Team Match - Austin Aries & Kenny King VS Bobby Roooo & Zema Ion

Smile for the camera Aries.
When the match starts at last its pretty decent to be fair.  Both teams get a good run on offence and its good to see Kenny King is still being shown after debuting.  Generally TNA have a tough time using new talent because they run storylines for so long, its hard to add them to the current plot.  During the match we start seeing tweets from fans on screen, which is nothing like tout messages on WWE and a complete coincidence that they started doing it at the exact same time as WWE.  Anyway Kenny King picks up the win and we start on a high for the episode.

Seriously though, does TNA ever have an original idea?  They are suing WWE for apparently stealing important information, while at the same time stealing every idea WWE has for their show.  OFN is a complete of the original NXT format.  Using twitter became big on WWE, so TNA copy it.  Voting on the official site for match stipulations and the like on becomes a regular feature on  The list goes on.

So the show finally starts and we get a recap of last weeks "action" as the aces and eights clean house yet again and further implicate James Storm as their leader.  Obviously Storm isn't the groups leader, but I wouldn't put it past TNA to have Storm make a heel turn.

Backstage Sting is asked about his opinions on Storm.  He says he is willing to give Storm the benefit of the doubt until further proof is given.  He says is calling someone out for answers, which is James storm, but for some reason he doesn't say that.

Storm looks as fed up as I do watching the show
So Sting arrives ringside and we learn he has again become GM for Impact.  At least until Hogan gets back from his spine surgery, I mean pelvic injury he suffered from the attack a couple of weeks back.  Sting calls out James Storm who appears almost instantly.  I always find it funny how in pro wrestling, more often than not the person called out is already by the ring entrance waiting to be called.  Sting claims he has some compelling footage, which is just the ending to last weeks match, which to be honest proves fuck all.  Does it not occur to Sting that aces and eights are doing this to make them mistrust one another?  Apparently not.  Storm deflects this by calling Angle and everyone whiny bitches after Angle attacked him a few months back and he simply got up dusted himself off.  Angle comes out to state that he will make Storm tapout in their BFG series match tonight and says Storm is still a suspect because he benefitted from the attack by aces and eights at OFN.

Backstage Kaz and Daniels laugh about AJ and his situation with Claire.  They also seem to be preparing some presents.

BFG Series Match - Bully Ray VS Robbie E
Bully lays on his healing hands. DEMONS BE GONE!

Despite a small and early assist from Robbie T, Bully ray completely buries Robbie E in this match.  Bully tells everyone he will be ringside for Storms match tonight alongside Sting to wait for aces and eights.  I had to laugh at Robbie E's entrance here.  Robbie T keeps trying to push the camera back but the idiot with the camera refuses and gets kicked by Robbie E as he makes his entrance.

Backstage Earl Hebner is giving Madison Rayne presents.  This story is really creepy still.  Gail Kim is pissed with Madison always being infatuated with Hebner and claims she is using him, which Madison denies.

Knockouts #1 contenders Match - Tara VS Madison Rayne VS Gail Kim VS Mickie James

Cheap presents really impress Madison
Tess is on commentary for this match, but I cannot remember a god dam thing she said it was so boring.  The only knockout to actually have a character in this show is Madison and she cannot fucking wrestle to save her life.  This match was a massive botchfest overall like every knockouts match on Impact.  I really hope botchamania adds a few of these horrendous botches to highlight how bad they are.  The match ends when Hebner purposefully gives the win to Madison even though Tara pinned her.  I assume this will be a long running plot here but only if you have the patience for it.

Backstage Bobby Rooo says he will be ringside to prove that James Storm is the ringleader of the aces and eights.  Austin aries overhears this and decides to also join Rooo ringside tonight.

Sting gets a health update about Hulk from Brooke.  She rambles about him always being able to get up from a beating, but this one was so vicious blah blah blah.  A runner from backstage delivers another message from the aces and eights which causes Brooke to run out of the room for some reason and Sting to look dumbfounded.  Another pointless segment here that really added nothing to the story.

Still backstage here, remember wrestling matters folks.  Oh wait they dropped that slogan when it was proven that their show has less wrestling compared WWE at times.  ODB talks to Eric young about having to defend their knockouts tag titles.  Eric decides to plug his new fishing show, and runaway with his title to prevent them from having to defend the belts.  Its pretty bad when you are plugging a fishing program during your wrestling show.

Singles Match - Kid Kash VS Chavo Guerrero

Chavo wins his first match on Impact.  Its all downhill from here
Remember when I said earlier that TNA have trouble adding new talent into storylines.  Well here is an example.  Chavo has arrived fresh from his break with WWE.  He is pretty well known and a good worker.  Problem is they now have to put him into this feud with Kid Kash instead of adding him to the aces and eights plot where he could be put over pretty well as a babyface, maybe saving Aries or Sting from a beating.  Anyway his match with Kash is pretty good and obviously Guerrero wins to continue his new character push.

Backstage again and we see Wes Brisco talking to Kurt Angle.  I guess they are adding one of the famed Brisco family to their roster soon.  Devon and Garret Bischoff interrupt to again offer their aid against the aces and eights, which Angle accepts.

The AJ baby outshined everyone here
In the ring Daniels and Kazarian have brought their presents with them to give Claire a babyshower.  She actually seems confused which is funny and further highlights the poor writing here.  They give her a shitload of nappies, TNA action figures, T-shirts and a AJ styles baby doll complete with AJ ring attire.  Claire then acts really badly and tries to look like she is upset, but comes off looking more constipated.

Backstage AGAIN! this time with Joseph Park asking Sting some pointless questions.  Sting then fails to pronounce Kayfabe, but saying Kayfab instead.  This even makes Tazz laugh at him in confusion, and if Tazz is laughing at you for fucking up then you know you have failed big time.

BFG Series Match - Kurt Angle VS James Storm

Another decent match, that see Storm winning after completely no selling a really long ankle lock from Angle.  I mean he is in the this ankle lock for like three minutes and he simply counters, gets up and superkicks Angle for the win.  All of the guys who said they would be ringside turn up, but of course the aces and eights aren't going to simply attack when everyone has announced they will be waiting for them.  Maybe if they had hidden somewhere backstage and maybe then attacked when the aces showed themselves, but no, expecting your enemy to run out when you announce you will be ready for them is really dumb.  To give the fans something to cheer about at the end  a fight break out and the show ends.
Angle has trouble getting over, get it?

A pretty meh episode of impact.  Wrestling was ok, but the story went nowhere and will probably continue to drag on for weeks like this until they have Jarret or Bischoff return as the leader of the aces.


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