Monday, 20 August 2012

TNA Review 19th August 2012

Still looking like a dick there Hardy
After the so-so showing of hardcore justice I didn't really have high hopes for tonights impact.  After the usual recap of the previous weeks events we get Austin Aries to ramble at us first.  He tells us he is now the face of this company because he is the champion.  I love how TNA are running the old WCW idea of belt = power somehow.  Its like being a world champion boxer and suddenly being able to arrange fights and dictate the future of the WBA simply because you won a fight.  Aries also claims he won't allow TNA to be held hostage by the aces and eights.  Jeff hardy decides he needs to stick his oar in claiming he will win the bound for glory series.  This was also funny because he is so far down on points he would need to win every match via submission to have a chance.  Hardy also calls out the aces and eights.  Why do they keep doing this?  Just because you shout for the bad guys to turn up, it doesn't mean they are going to respond.  Bully ray also interrupts to call Hardy an idiot for thinking James Storm is innocent here and continues to accuse Storm of being behind the aces and eights.  Bully also claims that he will win the BFG series before getting into an argument with Aries.  To round off this snorefest the aces and eights appear on screen to vaguely threaten someone with violence.

Singles BFG Match - Samoa Joe VS Magnus

This was a good match that personally I thought would have worked better if Magnus had picked up the win.  But it was a good mix of styles and the two can run a good match together.  Post match after Joe is leaving Magnus attacks Joe with a chair which only seems to aggravate Joe.  Since they are now feuding we should see some good matches provided creative actually make Magnus a threat and have him win some of the fights.

The face most jobbers pull backstage after a match
Backstage Madison Rayne talks crap about being the knockouts champion again and how she worked so hard and how Earl was such a massive support for her road to success before being told to get in the ring because Brooke Hogan wants to talk to her. 

Ringside Madison awaits Brookes arrival but before that she calls out Earl Hebner to thank him personally for all his help.  Brooke arrives and reprimands Hebner for basically cheating to help Madison win.  She decides now that Earl can no longer ref knockout matches to keep things fair and also informs Madison she will be facing Tessmacher tonight for a rematch with the title on the line.  We also learn that there will be a special referee for the match.  Madison is rightly upset about these announcements so she taunts Hogan to get her in the ring to face her, but as soon as Brooke makes a move she runs.  The aces and eights take advantage of this and prepare to attack Hogan but she is rescued by the aging dream team of Hardy, Aries, Sting and Angle.  Angle and Sting show up long after the aces have been run off, but its the thought that counts I guess.

After a break Sting gathers his elite team of over the hill wrestlers to call out the aces and week.  Because tonight everyone is a little busy doing other things like washing their clothes and catching up on episodes of Diagnosis murder.  So next week we will maybe possibly, but probably not see the aces and eights go up against Sting and his lightning league.

Backstage Kaz and Daniels talk about being advertised in the latest issue of amazing spiderman while also doing a marvel(ous) job of product placement.  They joke about Claire Lynch being ugly and how drunk AJ must have been to fuck her.  AJ overhears this and also claims he must have been drugged to have slept "with that foot" to quote AJ there.  He makes a deal with Daniels that if he wins he gets a paternity test, but if Daniels wins he will accept that the baby is his.  Daniels agree's.

Singles BFG Match - Christopher Daniels VS AJ Styles
Oh no its that one move! I'm sure its deadly

This was another good match although longer than necessary really.  AJ wins after Daniels cheats by getting an assist from Kazarian.  The ref spots Kaz and during the confusion AJ manages to knockout Daniels and get the win.  What frightens me the most here is that Impact has had two good matches in a row tonight.  But also for a two hour show this was only the second match?  What are TNA doing if they have only had two fights in over an hour.

Backstage Sting speaks to hogan on the phone about next weeks challenge concerining the aces and eights.  Hogan says he will be there despite not being 100% but wants to go "old school" whatever the fuck that means.  Its seems old school is some kind of phrase only guys like Sting and Hogan seem to understand since most sensible wrestlers have retired at their age.

In the locker room Jeff Hardy threatens James Storm over this whole aces and eights leadership accusation, and how he hopes he isn't their ringleader.  Storm blows up on Hardy for this and promises he will be ringside to prove that he isn't the leader by attacking any aces that show up during Hardy's match with Bully ray tonight.  Quite how this is supposed to prove anything is beyond me since all he has to do is tell one of the aces to come down and let him beat him up a bit to prove he isn't one of them.  Obviously Storm isn't a member of the group since its too obvious that way after all the weeks of accusations.  Its funny how everyone has believed Bobby roooo after everything he's done to cause shit over the last few months, why anyone would believe him anyway is hilarious.

Speaking of Bobby Rooo he makes his mandatory bitching appearance next.  And bitch he does.  He talks about losing the title and how it meant everything to him, then blames everybody for him losing at hardcore justice and then eventually does exactly what James Storm did a few months back and simply leaves the ring, suggesting he has quit.  Like anyone cares if a heel quits.

TNA Knockouts Title Match - Brooke Tessmacher VS Madison Rayne w/ Taryn Terrell

Ok so a couple of things here before I talk about the match.  Firstly Brooke hogan is fucking atrociously bad at delivering her lines.  Scripted or not she is bad all round.  Second she nearly falls off the stage when she introduces us to Taryn Terrell or as she is better known "Tiffany" from WWE.  Brooke tries to mask her almost falling off the ramp/stage with a little curtsey to the fans shouting "you fucked up".  The match was shit and it ends with Tessmacher regaining her title.  My problem with this was that it made the whole earl hebner thing pointless since she held the title for what, 4 days?  Why even give her the title in the first place if all you were going to do was give it straight back.  And why introduce a new knockout to already small roster of female wrestlers as a fucking referee?  Why not as an enforcer or I don't know a match!  If all Brooke hogan wanted was a fair official then why not use someone other than hebner?  Or put herself in as the ref.  Fuck this company.
I bet Hebner is aroused by this

Singles BFG Match - Bully Ray VS Jeff Hardy

James storm keeps his word here and watches the ringside area for any surprise attacks while Bully and Hardy run a ho-hum match that isn't that interesting to watch.  Hardy wins eventually due to some confusion involving Storm.  Bully attacks Hardy thinking the match is still on and blames Storm for the confusion.  Storm tries to kick Bully ray but he dodges and Hardy ends up getting the boot to the face.  After this Bully leaves while still shouting at him and the aces and eights beat down Storm to end the show.

Surprisingly decent wrestling aside from the knockouts match, but once again the retarded writing causes you to facepalm through most of the show.


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