Monday, 13 August 2012

TNA Review 12th August 2012


Well here we are again for another rip roaring ride through the universal studios arena of Impact wrestling, where wrestling matters.  Well except for all the god damn talking and retarded "plot twists" of course.  I would actually like this show more if it featured just wrestling with a bit of light exposition.  TNA are simply happy to ape WWE's formula for a weekly show and the problem with that approach is that WWE are suffering from lower ratings and less profit year on year, so why copy that?

Storm pretends to be blind to catch Bully off guard
Anyway the show starts with the soon to be leaving Bully ray.  Yeah there is a pretty good chance Bully will leave with Devon soon due to contract disputes.  He posts another live tweet from his "twitter machine", so I guess he means his phone then.  Then he could be referring to his brain as the twitter machine I don't know.  We get the usual rambling about how great he is and why he is going to win his match at hardcore justice to become the #1 contender.  He then calls out James Storm (who is his opponent tonight in the main event) and accuses him of being the leader of the aces and eights.  Storm comes out to once again defend himself against these accusations by challenging Bully to a fight right there.  Bully backs off like he always does.  The aces and eights appear on screen and talk with a distorted voice about turning up on the show on their own terms.  Bully then rants some more before the adverts.

I honestly think TNA have everyone convinced with this James Storm being the leader of the aces story, but really its painfully obvious that Storm has nothing to do with them and the leader of the group will either be Jeff Jartett or Eric Bischoff being the two of them have been off TV now for a while.  Storm might some minor connection but thats it.

When we return from the break, and yes its a break to watch annoying adverts when TNA is what is after them trust me, we see Pope running a promo.  Problem is we can't half of it because the idiots in the production truck keep playing the impact theme over the top of it, drowning out his voice.  Pope could have run a promo about eating babies and we would have been none the wiser.  The show seemed to be run pretty ineptly when it was taped but after switching to a live format it just gets worse.

BFG Series Match - RVD VS Magnus

Magnus patiently awaits the squash
Mr.Anderson joins the commentary booth for this match although I don't know why.  Guess they had nothing better to do with him so they just decided to shove him on screen in any way they can.  He like most guest commentators have little to add to the match.  The match itself is pretty standard RVD match material.  Magnus is a way better wrestler but has to job anyway.  RVD botches several moves and generally looks slow all over.  His moves had little speed or weight to them and really it highlighted just how banged up he is now.  Props to him for still being able to go, but he needs to take a break or just wrestle less matches.  Of course RVD wins with his frog splash.

Backstage Bobby Rooo continues to bitch about something related to the title.  Apparently there are some dodgy wordings in his contract and he wants them altered or some shit.  Is this the only character trait of Rooo then?  Just bitching every week?  When he had the title he bitched about not getting respect or unfair stipulations.  When he loses the title he bitches about contract wording and his opponent.  Exactly what character traits here make him the "leader of the selfish generation" whatever the fuck that means.  What the hell is the selfish generation anyway?  Why is he "off the chain" when he is just as generic as everyone else in TNA.  He's a good wrestler but he has very little charisma or acting ability.

TNA Tag Team Title Match - Devon & Garett Bischoff VS Kazarian & Christopher Daniels

Epic bro hug
Terribly boring match.  Both teams seem at a loss as to what they are doing as the match is filled with awkward spots and pauses between moves in the early part of the match.  Kaz and Daniels obviously win since giving Garett a belt would probably cause the ratings to hit -1.04 somehow.  Also isn't Devon supposed to defend his TV title every week?  Its been like three weeks since he last defended it.  Guess that story got dropped like most of TNA's original ideas.

After another break we go back to the ring to see the two Robbies.  They have setup a table in the centre and Robbie E begins baiting Jeff Hardy.  He promises to win his match at hardcore justice for those all important twenty points and humiliate Hardy once again.  He even jokes about Hardy wearing a wife beater which amusingly is what Hardy is wearing when he interrupts Robbie.  Hardy attacks Robbie T, putting him out of the ring temporarily before turning his attention to Robbie E.  It isn't long before Robbie T comes back, beats the shit out of Jeff and puts him through the table.  I liked this segment, mostly because it involved Hardy getting his ass kicked, but also because it was simple old fashioned heel work.  Not whining or bitching like Roode, just a bad guy heel picking on the good guy babyface.

Robbie E is more fun to watch compared to Hardy
Backstage AJ is quizzed about the incriminating photos Claire produced a few weeks back.  He makes a remark about how Claire must have been pretty awful in bed for him not to remember it and then says and I didn't believe this at first.  He says he doesn't drink.  Why the fuck did he tell everyone this now and not when Claire claimed he was drunk.  How fucking dumb do you have to be to forget you are teetotal when some junkie woman claims you had sex with her while DRUNK, getting her pregnant.  Jesus christ the writing here is unbelievably bad.  This revelation may not even have any relevance to the plot, but it should be one of the main points for AJ's defence.

Before the next match Samoa Joe hijacks the commentary booth to angrily state he will win his match at Hardcore justice.  This looked like they missed a segment for Joe to speak in so they just told him to run out there and run a quick promo.

BFG Series Match -  AJ Styles VS Kurt Angle

A much better match here I have to admit.  Kurt and AJ work well together in every match I have seen them in and this wasn't any different.  My only criticism was the number of signature moves they kicked out of.  It makes these finishing moves look weak when you have people kicking out of them so often, but thats a regular feature of TNA matches.  I know it happens on WWE, but they generally just go with reversals so that when a finisher is landed nine times out of ten its a winning move.  But aside from that its a good match which sees Angle winning with his olympic slam.  Post match Claire who has been cheering for AJ all match tries to give some words of encouragement which pisses of AJ and walks away from her.  She looks hurt and confused by this and I begin to wonder if they are going to steal the AJ Lee crazy plotline from WWE.
I imagine this move hurts your ball more than your face

Aces and eights run another video about picking their next victim although we aren't told who exactly.  To be honest I don't really care.  The only reason to give a crap about this group is to see who they are when they take off the masks.  When they do finally reveal themselves they will simply become babyface fodder and job to Sting anyway.

Backstage Anderson for no real reason at all threatens James Storm.  Now the babyfaces are all looking like heels because they are going along with Bobby Rooo's accusations from a fortnight back.  How dumb do you have to be to believe the heel with an agenda for fuck sake.  Instead of the faces being all "Storm is our friend and if he says he's innocent then we believe him until you prove it Roode" they go immediately to "Roode said you're the leader of the aces and eights, fuck you Storm!"

Knockouts Singles Match - Gail Kim VS Brooke Tessmacher

Ewwwwwwwwwwww
Standard knockout match which sees Gail kim losing.  The match wasn't bad at least but I struggle to think of anything noteworthy here.  Post match Madison rayne comes out to snog Earl Hebner which thinking about it now makes feel a little sick. 

Sting comes out next to invite the aces and eights out to talk to him.  Did he not hear or see the videos from earlier, you know with them telling everyone they will be appearing when they choose and not when Sting calls them out?  He also gets Aries and Roode out for this contract signing.  Rooo refuses to sign due to some stipulation in the contract so Aries offers a verbal contract instead.  He offers to fight Rooo for the title but if he wins Rooo can never have a rematch again for the title.  Rooo accepts and then throws water in his face and argue, but never actually come to blows.

BFG Series Match - Bully Ray VS James Storm

Our finale for the night is a decent match which again sees Storm as the main event man.  Bully ray wins after some shenanigans involving the ref.  Post match the aces and eights claim they will see Bully at the pay per view during his match which annoys Bully somewhat.

So overall a pretty meh forgettable episode here.  The plot continues to move at a snails pace while the wrestling is still a mixed bag.  Hardcore justice which broadcast last night in the states might have some better matches for me this wednesday but I wouldn't hold my breath.

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