Monday, 27 August 2012

TNA Open fight night review 26th August 2012

So tonight is the night where we will at last see the aces and eights confront Sting and his lightning league.  Frankly i'm just glad they finally decided to do something with this plotline instead of another week of empty threats and boring tirades from the likes of Sting and James Storm.

We open the show with a pretty hilarious looking video of the aces and eights driving at around 5 mph around the car park trying to look mean.  They can't even drive in a straight line for a start its so bad.

In the arena Sting finally makes his way to the ring to meet up with the rest of the lightning league.  Basically the entire locker room is in the arena minus the likes of Bobby Rooo and Samoa Joe.  Sting calls out the aces and eights again and shows some still images of the numerous beatings they have given members of the roster.  The crowd seem pretty uninterested to be honest.  In fact they are more concerned with Hulk hogan whom they chant for but Sting ignores them completely.  Sting calls out James Storm who basically says "I told you so" before lending his support to Sting & Co.  To placate the crowd a little Sting promises Hogan will arrive later tonight as if thats something to be happy about.  Hooray the 90 year old over the hill wrestler will be back tonight to do.....NOTHING!  Shortly after Sting promises the return of the Huckster, two members of the aces and eights come down and get the shit kicked out of them.  Sting interrogates one of them, who happily reveals that he has just been initiated into the gang before being beaten some more.  The new initiate also promises more pain for the rest of the lightning league tonight.

After a break we see Tessmacher in the ring.  She thanks Brooke Hogan for last weeks decision that allowed her to regain her title.  She also feels sorry for her friend Tara who lost out on the #1 contender spot due to Hebners cheating on Madisons behalf, so she offers Tara a match.  Wait a match?  Not a title shot?  On OFN isn't at least one title defended each month?  Why doesn't she offer her friend the title match she should have had?

Knockouts Match - Brooke Tessmacher VS Tara

Haters gonna hate
Yeah so they start this non title match with a healthy dose of womens wrestling botches.  To be fair its mostly Tess that botches here while Tara actually tries to salvage the match.  It gets a little better near the end but the match overall is crap.  Tara wins after pretty much dominating the match and I guess this might be a setup for a feud.  Tarryn our new female referee once again officiates this match and I guess she will ref all knockouts matches from now on since Hebner was banned from all knockouts matches.  I also find it funny that they created a storyline to remove groper Hebner from the women's matches entirely.

Backstage Sting explains that since Pope has been sidelined due to injury he will be setting Robbie E, AJ Stlyes and RVD in a triple threat match next tonight for some valuable BFG series points.  I don't anyone needed a segment backstage to explain this really since most fans are just happy to see some wrestling.  Explaining the in's and out's of how the bound for glory series works is unnecessary since no one cares.

Triple Threat BFG Match - Robbie E VS AJ Styles VS RVD

Now for a limited time only its the spring loaded AJ cannon
Robbie E is alone for this match since Sting banned Robbie T from ringside.  This match was pretty good to be honest and I was surprised here since I don't really rate Robbie E very highly, he always seems like a Santino character really just there for laughs and to job, but here he did a really good job and probably did better than RVD and AJ.  RVD still botches a few things but thats become regular for him now we still like him regardless while AJ runs a good match.  Robbie E wins after stealing the pin and walks away rightly criticising his opponents for not taking him seriously.  Whether TNA have any intention to build on this I don't know, but it would be interesting to see if they have more plans for the character.

After another break Jeff Hardy comes out with his new crappy looking T-shirt to challenge big Robbie T to a grudge match which the Welshman accepts.

Grudge Match - Jeff Hardy VS Robbie T

Hardy promptly flattens Robbie in a short uninteresting match.  The only real highlight of the few minutes was Hardy's entrance which see's him nearly falling into the crowd after tripping on the floor lights.  Robbie T was never going to win this since he is just jobber fodder to Hardy to keep his fans happy.

Next up we have Jeremy Borash who calls out AJ styles for the results of the paternity test from last weeks show.  Styles promises to take care of the child if its his like and I quote "A man should" but also says if it isn't his he wants Kaz and Daniels to shut up.  Yeah AJ because the heels who have been harrassing you for what feels like ten years now will just give up after their evil scheme is foiled, oh wait they won't since everytime they lose they just move onto another set of accusations.  Anyway before the results can be revealed Kaz and Daniels come down to call AJ a bastard and a redneck and inform him that he is the problem with the youth of today and all this shit just to fill time.  They rant at him for around three of four minutes before finally shutting up.  Then Claire Lynch's solicitor turns up to read a statement from Claire basically saying that she was working with Kaz and Daniels from the start, she put sleeping pills in AJ's drink so the pictures could be taken and that her pregnancy was fake all along.  AJ attacks them both and the crowd go wild.

So a few things here I want to ask TNA and its creative team:
Hogan channels his inner warrior SKRONK!
  • Why did Daniels and Kazarian do the whole sleeping with Dixie plan if they were just going to have Claire pretend to pregnant in the first place?  Did they plan for their earlier plans to fail from the start to get to this plan?
  • What was the end result here going to be if they had succeeded?  Eventually Claire would have had to reveal she was never pregnant in the first place so AJ would never have to worry about a baby.
  • Why did they go through such an elaborate scheme in the first place?  They don't seem to have a goal here other than to annoy AJ.  If their goal is to mess with his reputation or play mind games why not just beat the crap out of him each week like any other wrestler would do.
  • Why did AJ act so shocked when the pictures of him Dixie where revealed?  Since he knew the truth he had no need to act worried in the first place.
  • Why did Dixie carter just vanish from the storyline the second Claire was pregnant with AJ's child?  Surely she would have been more involved with the story not less.
  • What was the paternity test going to show?  Since they tested a woman who isn't pregnant it would have been pointless yet there was Borash with the results in hand.
Backstage Hollywood Hogan returns and hits three members of the aces and eights with a baseball bat.  He then skronks alot and threatens to rip out the heart of any man who threatens his daughter.  Sting then acts like the emperor after turning Anakin to darkside and welcomes the new darth Hogan to his lightning league.

Gut Check Match - Gunner VS Kris Lewie

Kris Lewie? More like Fat Lewie
Ok for a start this Lewie guy claims to be starving with no work coming in that you can see his ribs.  When the fucker gets in the ring he is overweight with an obvious paunch.  I mean he looks like fat hardy.  Also Gunner kicks his ass and actually look like a good wrestler compared to Lewie which is saying something, I mean this Lewie guy sucked ass in this match.  Of course he will get a contract due to his sob story.

Singles BFG Match - Mr.Anderson VS Bully Ray

This was a decent match overall that oddly cut to a backstage brawl involving some aces and eights members fighting Robbie T and someone else I forget.  The match ends with Anderson winning and claiming seven points.

After the match the leader of the aces and eights claims that in a few minutes all hell is going to break loose and everyone will feel the pain.  After the break a massive brawl breaks out and to be honest it was fun to watch a full scale battle erupt in the arena and the backstage area.  Hogan is there basically killing a man with his bare hands.  James Storm is choking a guy out with a cable and the arena is filled with people brawling.  Eventually the real members of the aces and eights turn up and break Austin Aries arm with a chair before running off, leaving their men behind to get beaten to death. 

Although hell didn't exactly break loose but the fight was fun to watch.  The segment did kind of make the aces look weak since it took a small army to distract the lockeroom long enough to hit Aries with a chair, and the other parts of the night just featured members of the gang being jumped.  Not a great way to build your mysterious biker gang of badasses.


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