Monday, 30 July 2012

TNA Review 29th July 2012


So now that I am free from reviews of WWE I can really focus my rage, hatred and despair on the WWE wannabe TNA.  This week continues the riveting storylines they have been building up for months.  Things like Madison Rayne wanting to suck Earl Hebners cock, AJ styles being stalked by a former drug addict after she claims her baby is his, Sting trying to be relevant, Bobby Rooo trying to be entertaining and The bound for glory series where everyone involved claims they have immense respect for each other.

So we get a recap at the start of the show highlighting the now evil Claire and her obsession with AJ.  This obviously another one of Christopher Daniels tricks to try and errrr make AJ cry?  I don't really know why Daniels is doing this anymore.  Originally with the Dixie carter affair angle we could see he was attempting to expose AJ as someone who was successful by sleeping with the boss.  Now he is just fucking with AJ for no real reason.  They have had matches to determine the best and AJ won so what else is there left to do?

So Sting comes out first to ramble about the aces and eights and how he is going to kick their ass.  He mentions Hogan has had titanium plates put into his body due to the injuries he suffered, making him more machine than man twisted and evil.  Sting is so mad he calls out the aces and eights for a fight.  Austin aries steps out instead and throws his hat in the ring to fight them as does Kurt Angle.  This makes sense at least considering they all got their asses handed to them last week.  Bobby Roo is the last out but instead of joining the faces he accuses James Storm of being the ringleader of the aces because he wasn't attacked last week and he is the one most likely to benefit from winning the BFG series.  Storm doesn't take too kindly to this and attacks Rooo, running him off.

Man he looks tired these days
Again at least TNA are sort of keeping the feud between Roode and Storm alive, if only barely.  Since Roode lost his match due to interference he should be able to feud with Storm now and at least run a good match or two.

Backstage they run a pre-tape of a few wrestlers talking about how Great Chavo Guererro is.  Oh good another WWE cast off joining the cast of ex-WWE/WCW/ECW wrestlers.  Lets see, how many does that make now in top roles in the company.  Jeff Hardy (convicted drug felon) Mr.Anderson (Notoriously injury prone) RVD (Convicted drug felon and major stoner) Sting (Ancient WCW frontman and religious freak) Hulk Hogan (One of the destroyers of WCW and a magnet for shit ideas) D'lo Brown (Former member of the nation of domination and now road agent) Al Snow (Former ECW/WWE hardcore champ now in charge of talent) Devon & Bully Ray ( Ex ECW/WWE tag champions now holding a belt and being a major character respectively) Kurt Angle (Former WWE champ and drunk driver) Tazz (Former ECW/WWE wrestler and escaped oompa Loompa) Mickie James (John Cena's ex road girlfriend who went nuts when he dumped her) Tara (Known as Victoria in WWE) Mike Tenay (Former WCW announcer) Eric Bischoff (Former WCW GM, WWE GM and destroyer of WCW along with several others.)  Now with Chavo you can see there isn't alot of room for TNA originals anymore and as WWE shed more talent the more you will see joining TNA its bullshit.

Backstage Roo continues to claim Storm is in charge of the aces and eights and claims he is leaving the arena because no one is willing to listen to him.  Who knows, he could be right.  TNA like their swerves and sudden heel turns so I wouldn't be surprised if Storm does turn out to be involved if not leading them.

Knockouts Tag Team Match - Gail Kim & Madison Rayne VS Tara & Mickie James

This segment of the match made no fucking sense
The match itself is crap, but this wasn't put on for entertainment, it was run to continue the creepy as heel Madison Rayne/Earl Hebner love story. Mickie clearly pins Madison and although she botches by kicking out before the three count, Earl changes the decision to say Mickie lost and Madison won.  Mickie is obviously pissed while Earl is thanked by Madison.  Now don't get me wrong I have nothing against people in real life falling for older men and women, its natural.  In the context of a fake wrestling show, it just seems seedy.  You can imagine Earl asking the creative team if he can be in a story where he can kiss some of the knockouts or something along those lines.  Honestly the story isn't that interesting to begin with and it can only get worse as it continues.

Backstage Sam Shaw talks about how this is his big chance to finally make his mark on the wrestling business blah blah usual bullshit TNA demands their talent to spout.  Hernandez, Kid Kash and Gunner also talk about Chavo being in TNA.

Singles Gut Check Match - Sam Shaw VS Douglas Williams

The future of TNA?......Nah
So since shaw got his ass kicked last week by the aces and eights, he has been granted a rematch so to speak this week, proving that gut check can be run on impact without the need for this open fight night crap.  Shaw has the early advantage during the match, but he gets distracted by Joey Ryan who gets Al snows attention before slapping him and running away.  This event allows Doug williams to bury shaw and get the three count.  So once again we see another hopeful get owned by one of the TNA regulars.  Why would you hire someone who can't even beat your own jobbers? I am talking from a real life perspective here.  If your guys are better than the hopefuls every single time, why would you hire them?  You would do better simply scouting talent and bringing them in and training them instead of giving random people a tryout.

Backstage Aries has been given the job of firing the X division wrestlers from destination X.  He gets rid of Dakota Darsow because he isn't "flashy" enough.  Sonjay Dutt goes because he got injured during a match and CAME BACK to finish the match despite the injury. And Rashad Cameron is fired because Aries saw all those CZW botches he was involved in and wanted none of that.  That just leaves Kenny King who was a shoe in anyway because he left Ring of honor to join TNA, so he gets the X division title shot.

TNA: Giving ex WWE talent a second chance
In the arena, Chavo guerrero makes his debut for TNA.  He runs a long and frankly pretty boring promo as a babyface.  I like his matches, but he sucks on the mic, confident but not very interesting to listen to.  Kid Kash and Gunner interrupt him and think he is to full of himself because he has the Guerrero name so they attack him.  Hernandez makes the save and I guess we will se the reformation of La Familia?  If nothing else we will probably see a tag match at the next PPV.

Backstage Angle wants the truth from James Storm about the accusations made by Bobby Rooo.  Storm laughs off the comments and assures Angle that if he had a problem with anybody he would tell them to their face and not use cheap tactics.  Angle is happy with this and leaves, while Storm looks guilty about something.  I guess for now they want us to think he is working with them, but again anything is possible with the TNA writing team since logic is an alien concept to them.

We also see the three gut check judges discuss the Sam shaw match, while Al Snow wants something done over Joey ryan and his interference.  Funny how Al only wants something done when it effects him. 

BFG Series Match - AJ Styles VS James Storm

ACTING!
I had to laugh early in this match when Mike Tenay says Storm and AJ are in similar situations.  Yeah Tenay I can see how Styles being accused of being the father of a drug addicts baby while married with his own family is really similar to Storm being accused of working with the aces and eights, the similarities are too many to count.  Tazz also says superpowered allegations, which is so stupid it hurts.  Claire is in the crowd trying to act angry, but comes across more constipated while being suspicious.  Guess those acting classes really paid for themselves.  The itself is pretty good, but thats not a shock when you let the TNA original talent work a good length match.  Sadly the match ends in James storm being DQ'd due to the aces and eights attacking AJ.  What shocked me more about this was the fact the security team tried to help AJ.  Those fuckers never do anything unless its to break up a fight between two wrestlers.

After a break we see the results of the gut check tryout match and surprise surprise we have another winner.  Sam shaw has also "won" a contract.  Obviously we won't see him for months on end and in all likeihood he will be dropped while he works a developmental territory so who cares.  The only guy they seem to care about here is Joey ryan, maybe because he has a character at least even if it is Ron Burgundy.

X Division Title Match - Zema Ion VS Kenny King

Everybody was kung fu fighting
Zema bites his tongue early in this match, evidenced when he tries to talk to the camera and mostly garbles his lines with a bleeding tongue.  Still the match was good and I can see why they wanted Kenny king as he is a good worker with an entertaining style to him.  King ultimately loses because Bobby Roo attacks King for some reason.  Maybe its because he is friends with Aries I guess.  Hopefully we will see Aries and King fight one day, as it would probably be the best match of the night.

BFG Series Match - Bully Ray VS Kurt Angle

Even though Bully is a huge heel he of course has massive respect for Kurt Angle.  Even going so far as to say he is the best wrestler ever.  Lets see if Kurt Angle stacks up against these superstars in their prime:

Shawn Michaels - NO
The Undertaker - NO
Bret Hart - NO
The Rock - NO
Mr.Perfect - NO
Ric Flair - NO
Stone Cold Steve Austin - NO NO NO NO

Now Kurt is a good wrestler, but to say he is better than those guys and many others in their prime is a fucking joke.  I know Bully ray is told to say this crap, but honestly who is writing that shit? because they know nothing about wrestling clearly.

"So you guys wanna get a beer?"
Still the match is once again good.  Angle wins via pinfall and picks up seven more points.  Post match the aces and eight attack Angle, causing the collected babyfaces to run out to assist Angle.  They are still outnumbered and get beaten anyway until James storm comes out to help.  The aces and eights walk away, making it look they work for Storm and are following orders.

Overall this was a better Impact than usual.  At least there wasn't too much of the Claire AJ story this week, and there was a focus on actual wrestling.  The aces and eights group at least give a hook for several wrestlers to be involved and I think TNA work better when they have a single large plot thread to work on instead of the multiple tiny ones they generally work with that prevents the characters from crossing over often.

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