Monday, 16 July 2012

TNA Review 15th July 2012


After the usual "previously on TNA" we get straight into a match that should have been on Destination X.

Hardcore Match - Bully Ray VS Joseph park

Park remembers all the hookers he killed recently
This match was pretty much what you have already seen at slammiversary.  Park gets his ass kicked most of the match, but every now and then he manages to hit Bully long enough to pick up a weapon and then  fails to use it.  He does this gormless looking at the crowd whenever he gets a weapon before being clocked by Bully, its annoying.  Anyway this match ends with Park losing after being clobbered with his Bully's chain.  This makes Park bleed who post match hits Bully with a blackhole slam.  This pretty much confirms what me and my brother said months back, which was Park is Abyss and he is suffering a split personality.  In the next few weeks we will see Abyss return and feud more with Bully.  Its going to be an even longer, boring and predictable plot than we first suspected.

Backstage Sting tells the camera he is looking forward to meeting the "dead mans hand".  Also backstage Bully is confused as to who hit him with the slam.  Err Bully its pretty obvious its Abyss there buddy.

BFG Singles Match - Samoa Joe VS RVD
This image 2 of 2 for this match

This match continues Joes single minded strategy of submitting everyone for 10 points.  RVD scuppers this plan after countering Joe into a small package and winning, although the ref botches this by taking too long to start counting, making the pin look less of a surprise move and more unbelievable that Joe wouldn't kick out.  Despite this little problem the match was decent.

Backstage again as Hogan now speaks to the camera about challenging the aces and 8's tonight.  We also see a pre-taped segment where the camera crew ambush Claire arriving at the impact zone, in a pretty nice, new car.  Not bad for a recovering drug addict.  She acts like a bitch toward them, heavily hinting at her heel turn.

Evil moody Claire
Back ringside we now see Kazarian and Daniels in the ring.  Kazarian promises AJ that this feud hasn't even gotten close to ending, which makes me want to punch him in the soul, while Daniels begins to talk about the real truth of Claires pregnancy.  He calls out Claire who arrives looking angry and confused.  Daniels demands the truth from her which they spoke about off camera somewhere.  You know if Daniels was smarter he would record these conversations so we didn't have to given so many vague details.  Anyway AJ arrives on time and begins to argue with Kaz and Daniels until Claire demands AJ tell the truth and admit that the baby is his.  My brother called this before the show started and he was right.  He also predicted that she will later on in the year admit she was paid off by Daniels to lie, so mark my words here...well my brothers anyway.

We see another video segment now, this one furthering the bullshit exploitative story they are building with Zema Ion and Jesse Sorenson.  Zema dedicates his win to Jesse blah blah blah.  We also see Dakota Darsow who has had enough of Zema's taunting and challenges him to a match.

Singles Match - Dakota Darsow VS Zema Ion

So is Darsow on contract now? or?
This match was short and obviously sees Zema win.  they aren't going to let their new X division champ lose so soon, if at all until Jesse Sorenson comes back.  Darsow kicks the crap out of Zema most of the match, until the last minute or so before Zema just pulls out a win.  Post match he attacks Darsow and threatens to do this to all of Jesses friends if they keep challenging him.

Autin Aries makes his debut as the new heavyweight champ to great applause from the crowd.  Aries thanks the fans for their support, makes hints that CM Punk congratulated him and promises to be the best champion the company has ever seen and intends to move it to the next boom period. Bobby Rooo interrupts and comically paces around the ring looking like he didn't get that job at the bank he wanted.  He takes about 5 minutes to say that Aries win was a fluke and leaves.

Rooo is at least a little funny here
Back in Hogans office, Sting wans the hulkster to go old school on these aces and 8's guys.  Hogan isn't sure.  Devon and Garret offer their support, but get turned down because.....Well they never say, but either way it means less screen time for Garret Bischoff which is good.

We see ANOTHER video package of Madison Rayne explaining why she is attracted to Earl Hebner.  All of her reasons are sound I guess, but still this looks like something Earl asked for from his buddies in creative so a hot woman will like him.  Its a little creepy to say the least.

Knockouts Title Match - Gail Kim VS Brooke Tessmacher

Not sure whats happening here
I didn't actually think that TNA's commentary could get more bland and idiotic, but when Brooke Hogan joins them I am proven wrong.  Good god Brooke looks just like her dad in drag its scary, no wonder Hogan fancies his own daughter, it would be like fucking himself.  Anyway the match.  Well its a title match on free tv, so the belt will not be changing hands.  Gail looks to have the advantage most of the match, but a last minute second wind gives Tessmacher the opening she needs and wins the match.  The match was good though for a knockouts match.

Backstage Claire makes a neck snappingly quick heel turn and demands AJ do the right thing.  Its funny in wrestling how quickly a character can be a good guy, then the next week simply be the meanest motherfucker in wrestling just like that.

BFG Series Singles Match - Mr.Anderson VS Kurt Angle

Drunk Angle wins
A good match with nothing to say that would negative about it.  Both guys work well together, but the end sees Angle winning via pinfall.  The one thing that did piss me off about this was prior to the match we get these cocksucking promo's from both Angle and Anderson, talking about how great they both are.  TNA do this alot when they set a match between two faces.  The more they praise each other the more it seems like they should just fuck and get it out of their systems.

Backstage Rooo demands a rematch with Aries ASAP.  Hogan grants his wish and sets the match for the main event at OFN next week.  Roo is happy with this and leaves to prepare for his match.

The finale is just stupid.  Sting hits the ring, runs a promo and calls for Hogan.  Hogans music plays and nothing happens.  He asks for it again and nothing happens.  At this point Sting should have gone "oh noes! my bud has been ganked backstage" but instead he asks for Hogans theme again, which of course nothing happens again.  The camera feed switches to Hogans office as he is being beaten by the aces and 8's.  Sting moves to help after they leave and he then gets his ass kicked.

Another textbook beating for Sting, how most Impact shows should end
Does anyone else get the feeling these are eric bischoffs guys?  Its just that I cannot think of any other bad guy who would specifically target them.  Anyway this show was alright, although the continuation of the AJ/Daniels feud needs to end soon, its becoming something beyond tedious now.

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