Monday, 28 May 2012

TNA Review 27th May 2012

Well this week marks the return of Open Fight Night and lets take a look shall we at the show that will change wrestling, or so Hogan says.

We begin this action filled two hours with a near twenty minute backstage talking segment.  Remember folks wrestling matters, no more of this talking shit just get to the fighting.  Well TNA decided today for the opening of their second OFN, they would have Hogan talking to Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy, Kurt Angle and AJ Styles about who will face Bobby Roooo tonight in the main event.  Hogan wants to make sure that whoever he picks has the best chance of beating Rooo so he cannot become the longest reigning TNA champion.  Personally I would have set the match as a fatal 5 way, best of 3 or iron man match and had the entire show be them fighting.  Roo would have lost for certain or at least have a much higher chance of being knocked out.  Anyway the four of them argue over who has the best chance of beating Rooo, leaving the decision to Hogan who decides to eliminate Bully Ray first.  The reason being that he hasn't won any major titles in TNA barring the tag titles.  The logic is flawed here anyway because how is Bully going to win a belt if he is never given a chance?  Anyway this segment lasts way too long and TNA take it too seriously, even having the kind of music they use for eliminations like on America's next top model and The apprentice to try and give it more legitimate tension.

Knockouts Tag Title Match - Gail Kim & Madison Rayne VS ODB & Eric Young
Is it the hair that makes them popular?

Gail starts this match by complaining about the fact a man holds a knockout tag title and also suggests ODB is a man.  Basically they want to give Gail the titles once again for some reason, I guess her TNA contract when she left WWE guaranteed she would hold the Knockouts titles for a year or something.  The match itself is entertaining, Eric and ODB make the match fun and I was surprised to see Eric Bodyslamming Gail and Madison, since at his height it must have hurt more than usual.  Anyway Gail and Madison win after shenanigans and become the new Knockouts tag champions.....again.

Singles Match - RVD VS Gunnder

It seems its taken this long for RVD to remember that Gunner DDT'd him on the concrete back at Genesis.  RVD completely buries Gunner throughout the match and even wins via chairshot.  Now heres the scene.  Gunner picks up a chair from the floor in plain view of the ref, the ref sees this, RVD jumps up and kicks the chair into Gunners face, the ref watches this and counts the pinfall.  So using chairs as long as your opponent holds it is legal?  Crazy TNA rule time!

Television Title Match - Devon VS Garett Bischoff

Devon comes out to challenge Garett because he respects him for eliminating him last week in the battle royal match.  So Devon has decided to be nice and give Garett a title shot.  The match is boring and thankfully pretty short since the two Robbies interrupt the match.  Devon and Garett team up to squash them and I guess we will see a tag match in the next episode.
Devon after being told he's putting over Garett tonight

Backstage again, well the recording from earlier in the day of Hogan discussing who he will eliminate next.  I find it funny how they are pretending this footage is live and not pre-recorded.  Anyway Hogan decides that Jeff is too much of a liability what with those drug convictions and being a totally self absorbed ass he eliminates him.  I wish Hogan had said those things, but he does eliminate him while saying he is the best thing since sliced bread.  He tells AJ and Kurt to prepare for the match and be in the ring soon for Hogans decision.

Bully Ray comes down to the ring to vent his pretty legitimate rage over being eliminated first.  He picks on Joseph "its really Abyss" Park.  Joseph gets in the ring to tell Bully that he doesn't want a confrontation, but then also provokes him by asking the crowd if Bully is guilty of making his "brother" disappear.  Bully knocks him out for this.  But really I have to ask this just quick, but if Abyss is still considered missing, then why did he turn up a couple of weeks back to warn Joseph off?  Surely that means he isn't missing at all and in fact is just biding his time for something else, but this is the same show that had Samoa Joe abducted by ninjas and never explained what the fuck that was all about so I guess its just standard practice for TNA.

Gut check Match - Joey Ryan VS Autin Aries
Maybe more ron burgundy than wild west but whatever

Joey Ryan looks like he just left the set of a wild west tv show, but the match was pretty good.  Aries wins since TNA don't want any the new guys to go over their talent, which is kind of dumb since you will need to give them a win at some point or the fans won't give a shit about them.

TNA Heavyweight Title Match - Bobby Rooo VS AJ Styles

As the title above says Hogan chooses AJ to be the #1 contender and face Rooo for the title.  The match itself is pretty fast paced but the ending is predictable.  Rooo wins of course so he now holds the title of longest reigning TNA champion.  Post match he celebrates with cheap champagne, plastic glasses and mexican flag coloured confetti.  He roles on the floor getting covered in champagne and stinging his eyes which was smart.  Hogan comes out to congratulate him on his achievement and introduces him to his next opponent, Sting.  Sting whomps Rooo's ass out of the ring and the crowd goes wild.  Hogan then tells Rooo he will face Sting next week in a lumberkack match, while mentioning Spike TV and 8PM a shitload.

Ancient by wrestling standards
So there you have it, the return of Sting to once again become TNA champion.  If you didn't see this coming from a mile off your an idiot.  All of Rooo's title reign was simply to allow Sting to have a break from wrestling so he can be given the belt back when he returns.  Rooo was simply keeping it warm for him.  This is really bad decision making on TNA's part since we see here that hogan is pulling strings backstage to give his friends title runs and screwing over all the guys who deserve it, you know the younger talent who have worked there alot longer.  Bobby's title run is made completely redundant since it was simply to allow Sting a rest.  It would have been better if AJ had actually won and Sting and Rooo just feuded, but no Sting HAD to have that title AGAIN.  I mean how old is Sting now, let me check wikipedia..53!  The fucker is 53 years old and still running around will world titles.  WWE has made mistakes in the past, but nowadays they would never put the strap on a guy over 40 let alone 50.  This is why Scott Steiner is right in his tweets, Hogan and Bischoff are running the company into the ground with their old WCW bullshit.  The company will tank and everyone but Hogan and Bischoff will be fucked.  Please for the sake of the wrestlers and people backstage fire Bischoff and Hogan for real TNA, its not too late.


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