Monday, 16 April 2012

TNA Review 15th April 2012


Good god its here again, another TNA impact.  This episode reportedly got a 0.99 cable rating, which for TNA is pretty bad as they usually garner around a 1.2 or slightly higher.  The thing is that this episode wasn't anywhere near as bad as last weeks show, so I guess their ratings must have dropped because they had more wrestling and far less talking for a change.

they chant for this piss ant?
The opener for the show sees Eric Bischoff being boo'd out of the building.  The crowd is also remarkably active tonight, they pretty much boo and jeer the entire time that Eric speaks, although this could be post production sound additions, since the crowd is far louder than Eric.  Another reason I think the crowd has been added post production is that they chant "we want Garrett" which must be fake since Garrett has done literally fuck all in TNA to garner a fan following.  Bischoff rants about being so famous his name will go down in history (as the man who helped kill WCW) and with that he introduces his team for the cage match at Lockdown consisting of, Bully Ray, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels and Gunner.  Bully kisses Eric's ass throws a few taunts at Garrett and the crowd continue to chant for Garrett.  Eventually Garretts music hits and the crowd actually cheers him?!  WHY?  He then introduces his first team member, Mr.Anderson.  And our first match of the best of three series.

Best of three series - Gunner VS Mr.Anderson

This was a decent match believe it or not, maybe a little short mainly because they cut the start of the match off with adverts.  Gunner keeps trying to grab Andersons tights to get a pin, which serves to piss Anderson off enough that he just beats Gunner senseless until the ref DQ's Anderson thus giving the win for Gunner.
Henchmen 10291 - C

Backstage Eric Young psyches himself up for his wedding, wearing a blue suit and thick glasses.  He looks like one of the characters from  revenge of the nerds.  Abyss comes in to question Eric if he has seen Abyss.  Of course Eric hasn't seen Abyss and can't help him.  Also we learn that Chriss Abyss is now a lawyer, which for some reason looks very familiar to Abraham washingtons recent appearances.

The motorcity Machineguns are now in the ring and run a babyface promo for their upcoming match against Magnus and Joe.  I think this will be the best match of the night at Lockdown.  Magnus and Joe come down to show their respect for the guns, but also to let them know they will be victorious at Lockdown.  They get ready to brawl but are interrupted by the arrival of Mexican America.  They want a shot at the titles also at Lockdown but before they can do anything about it they get buried by the other two teams.  So I guess Mexican America will be out of the title picture, maybe they will interfere to stop the machine guns from winning.

Best of three series - Christopher Daniels VS Austin Aries

This match was far better than the first of the night, both guys run a great X division style match.  The end is obvious since this is a best of three series and if Daniels wins then the third match is unnecessary, and even TNA isn't that stupid, so Aries wins.  But the match was still good and ran for about seven or eight minutes.

The steel cage is being setup ringside as Jeff Hardy comes out to talk to his cretins of the night.  He is only out there for a minute or so, claiming he will make history or some shit in his match against Angle.  He then leaves.  Wow thanks Jeff, that was well worth the time and effort.  He must have had an AA meeting to attend or something.
NEEEERRRRDDDDSSSSSS!

Backstage Eric is making his final preparations for his wedding.  He gets flanked by Sarita and Rosita wearing see through gowns.  For some reason they are intent on breaking up the wedding, which I guess is the heel thing to do, but what do they gain by doing this?  Anyway Eric resists temptation and heads to the ring now enclosed by the cage.  After a short wait we see ODB make her way down to the cage, wearing a dress, having makeup on and her hair done.  She looks very different.  The two begin the ceremony which goes well until Rosita and Sarita interrupt.  They try to make Eric ditch ODB by giving him a "view" of what he will be missing if he gets married.  Not sure why they do this.  ODB drops her dress to reveal her "assets" which prompts Eric to drop his suit.  Even the preacher strips down to his grundies.  They continue the ceremony and actually get married, which trust me is a rare thing in wrestling.  Most of the time the characters get very close and then a video plays of one of them cheating, or someone attacks the groom or the arena explodes or something.  I guess the story will continue with Eric being tempted regularly until he gives in and thats how the marriage will end.

Best of three series - Bully Ray VS AJ Styles

This match sees the men of both teams at ringside, while Bully Ray runs his typical boring style of match i.e. slow, tedious and overselling everything to comical effect.  Don't get me wrong AJ does the best with the shit he has to work with and still does a good job, but Bully ray is just dull in the ring.  His mic stuff is ok, but I am tired of being forced to watch him bury people who are far better wrestlers than he is, as if he is some unstoppable heel.  Bully eventually wins after hitting AJ with the chain around his fist.  The other guys outside the ring brawl allowing Bully to do this.  Post match Hogan comes out and instead of reversing the decision, you know because of the blatant cheating, he just tells Eric to choose a fifth man for the match at Lockdown.  Eric thinks Hogan will be Garretts fifth team member so he enters himself into the match.  Hogan reveals that he told Garrett earlier about this and so Garrett reveals his fith man to RVD, back from TNA limbo.
"That's right folks, I fucked WCW, and I aim to fuck TNA"

Knockouts Tag match - Gail Kim & Madison Rayne VS Mickie James & Velvet Sky

This sound if I had to answer with a grunt or other sound was simply "meh".  It was terrible or exactly brilliant, it was just....there.  Velvet picks up the win after Mickie throws a retreating Gail back into the ring.  Other than that it was fairly "meh"

The final segment of the night involves James Storm and Bobby Roo having a massive bitchfest at each other.  Its just them talking about old times and how they hated each other when they tagged, and how they both won the title and blah blah fucking blah.  They end with the two of them trying to squash their faces against each other.

So this was an ok impact for a change.  More wrestling than talking and yet this show did one of the worst ratings of the year so far for the show.  Maybe the fans do want more talking than wrestling in TNA.

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