Thursday, 19 April 2012

TNA Lockdown Review

So this event has been built pretty well for a TNA PPV.  We have the James storm and bobby rooo match, which TNA has tried to build as a kind of Undertaker VS Triple H type match.  The motorcity machine guns are challenging for the tag titles and we get the continuation of the yawn fest that is Eric and Garrett Bischoff.  Well scrub the last bit, we have two matches to look forward to here I guess.

Gunner sells a kick more than a foot away, the power of Nepotism!
Prior to the event starting we see James Storm getting into his broken down truck, presumably from his home in Nashville, and the show is in Nashville so luckily for him he didn't have to pay his own air travel for this show.  They then play a really long promo of Storm and Roo, talking about there past in TNA and beer money and how now, after all this time they will end this once and for all.  Unlikely knowing TNA but if there match is any good I won't care as much.

Backstage Garrett asks his team if he can be the first man into the cage for his team tonight.  Reasoning that as a rookie he needs to earn their respect.  They all agree while I think they are all quietly thinking "why are we playing second fiddle to this no mark?".

Lethal Lockdown Match - Team Garrett VS Team Eric

The future of TNA?
I still don't get why TNA insist on making holes in the cage for the cameras.  WWE just have a guy in the cage with them, or just film through the bloody thing.  Would it kill TNA to get a bigger cage so there was a space to allow the camera into the ring to see the action more clearly.  So Garrett is in first against the "deadly" Gunner.  Now I have to also wonder why we even have this format for the match.  Until every competitor is in the cage, no one can pin or submit, so the match gets stale very quickly since there is no tension.  Surely this would work better as an elimination style match?  Close the ceiling drop the weapons and let them all duke it out, first team to elimnate their opponents wins.  Instead the match plays out in this long boring predictable manner, with the faces being outnumbered throughout most of the match until their last man comes in, then all of a sudden the fight becomes even and all the faces beat up the heels.  There isn't a single spot I can remember that was noteworthy, or hasn't already been done before.  Eric just hides the entire time, only attacking near the end when everyone is unconscious.  Garrett wins when he clobbers Eric with a guitar and gets the win.  The match was bland and really uninteresting, but not without its odd moments.  Kazarian for instance shaved his head, which garnered a "you look stupid" chant from the crowd.  Post match we see a brief camera cut to Eric smiling, shaking hands with the ref and looking fine.  Clearly they were not meant to show this, but its also Erics fault for doing this just after the match and not backstage.  By the way the crowd from here on in is dead until the final match.

TNA Tag Title Match - Motorcity Machine Guns VS Magnus & Joe

The crowd throughout this match is near dead, I am sure you would have heard a fart from the back row if you were outside the building it was so quiet.  The guns have a botched intro, only getting their music when they are halfway to the ring.  The match itself was OK I guess.  The guns didn't run their usual fast paced match as much as I would have liked.  Joe and Magnus mainly kept the match slow, which fits the characters and the such, but made for a dull match at times.  The main problem is the crowd, who seem so indifferent to what was going on, it was weird since this match wasn't terrible and aside from an occassional blown spot was fine.  The tag rule near the end is completely abandoned and it becomes a tornado match, which it probably should have been from the start really.  This was probably done to try and get a reaction from the crowd.  Magnus and Joe hit their snapmare elbow drop finisher and win the match.  The crowd then cheer.

Television Title Match - Robbie E VS Devon

Yeah this match came out of nowhere.  There wasn't even a build for this on impact going into the PPV, I don't even think it was advertised on impact.  Anyway the match is short and looks to have been thrown together to fill time.  Devon picks up the win and retains a title I think TNA may have forgotten they have.  Post match Robbie T beats down Devon and the heels leave.  The crowd is pretty silent throughout this match too.

Knockouts Title Match - Velvet Sky VS Gail Kim

This match was forgettable really, nothing bad, but just cookie cutter.  Again this match came about with only a week or so to promote it so no real story had developed.  Gail wins the match and once again TNA's most popular female wrestler is left without a title.  The crowd is still relatively quiet throughout this match.  They are active during the entrances and afterwards, but its almost like a different group of people watch the match to those who watch the introductions.

Are you ready for another match between these aged icons?
Ric Flair now hits the arena and he is pissed.  He insults the rednecks in the front row and calls out Hogan.  The hulkster shows up and the two have a confrontation, with Flair threatening Hulk to leave him alone unless he wants an ass kicking.  Hogan just lays him out with one punch and then leaves.  Flair freaks out and throws most of his clothing to the crowd.  So TNA are so desperate for ratings they are going to run a Hogan VS Flair feud.  WHY?! those two are so fucking old they could kill themselves trying to wrestle a match.  Flair would do a swanton off the cage if you asked him to he's that hard up for cash.  Does TNA seriously know how bad this makes them look?  Hogan can barely walk these days since his back operations, he cannot wrestle at all.  He can punch and thats about it.  I know there is a certain nostalgia to seeing these icons of the business wrestle, but in their current condition its more of a risk than ever.  Plus why as TNA fans would you be happy seeing a spot for younger guys, going to a couple of OAP's?  FUCK THIS COMPANY!

Grudge Match - Crimson VS Matt Morgan

Yeah so here we go again with this "undefeated" shit.  The guy has lost three matches in his tag career, therefore he is not undefeated TNA.  And again we have only what a week of build for this and I mean the hilarious backstage brawl they had in early april.  Since then they haven't had a match, interfered in each others matches or even talked about their fight.  The match is guff, two big guys slowly move around a ring and fight like godzilla and Gamera.  At one point Morgan can leave the cage and win, but decides to keep fighting.  TNA does this regularly in their cage matches and it never makes sense.  Morgan could have just left and thus ended Crimsons streak, dealing a much bigger blow to him.  But no he wrestles more and loses.  Hilariously he gets his foot trapped in the ropes (how do you do that?) and Crimson climbs out of the cage.  The crowd are dead for this match also.  Why pay for a PPV event if you are just going to be sit there silently the entire time.

Grudge Match - Kurt Angle VS Jeff Hardy

Crazy Hardy is crazy
Another match that the crowd was largely silent for.  Angle is wrestling injured which I don't agree with.  He still puts on a good match even with the knee injury.  Hardy comes out to match wearing some kind of Babushka for some odd reason only he can explain.  The match was probably the best of the night, but also failed to generate any kind of interest since their feud is so poorly executed its hard to care.  Hardy wins this match by throwing himself off the cage for a swanton bomb onto Kurt.  If it isn't Kurt, its Hardy doing this stupid shit.

Knockouts Tag Title Match - Rosita & Sarita VS Eric Young & ODB

This match is typical Eric Young/ODB.  Eric never gets tagged in and ODB does all the fighting.  The crowd warm to this match a little.  Rosita and Sarita constantly try to distract Eric by dancing in front of him.  ODB doesn't like this obviously and so drinks some moonshine or whatver it is and then buries the two of them.  My problem here is how are they going to run Eric as this clown type character?  Pretty soon he will be in the same category as Santino Marella and BrodusClay.

TNA Heavyweight Championship Match - James Storm VS Bobby Rooooooo

Storm arrives in his broken down truck which Tenay says "is a unique entrance" wtf Tenay, never heard of Stone Cold?  Alberto Del Rio?  Eddie Guerrero and many more.  Dumbass shit TNA commentary says.  The match itself, Meh.  They are going for that Taker VS Hunter style match, but the ferocity just isn't there.  The match plays out like any other match from impact really.  Storm hulking up at one point completely ruins the gritty vibe they are aiming for and the match is slooooow.  The crowd love this match though, and is probably the only match they wanted to see being Storms home crowd.  The end is the usual TNA PPV bullshit.  Storm superkicks Bobby out of the cage giving Rooo the win.  This ending is purely for Sting so he can win the belt from Bobby Roooo.  Like I said weeks ago, we are going to have to put up with another fucking Sting title run.  This entire company is run as Hogan/Flair/Bischoff and Stings personal playground, where they have all the control and everyone else should feel privileged to be working for them.
The ref hated the match so much, he threw himself into a superkick

So this PPV was pretty bland overall.  An entire event set within the walls of the steel cage is limp.  Only TNA could do something that monumentally stupid.  I think TNA's problem is that running an event like this every year, causes it to lose its luster.  Give it a break for a year so fans will want to see it again.  WWE let some PPV formats rest a little before bringing them back so fans will be happy to see them again.

At least I am TNA free for a while now, see you tomorrow and thanks for reading.


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