Wednesday, 4 April 2012

RAW Review 2nd April 2012 - Daniel Bryan special

After last nights Wrestlemania we can only hope RAW is a major improvement overall. 

Prior to the show launching we see the entire locker room sat waiting for a speech from Laurinaitis.  He promises not to abuse his power and to give the fans what they want from the WWE.  The heel's are supportive and the face's look worried.  Laurinaitis' first act as the new super GM is to put Santino Marella in a triple threat match for the US title against Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler.  If this is the kind of thing we can expect from Laurinaitis, then I wholly approve since Santino should not be the US champion.  Punk steps forward to call Laurinaitis a 'massive toolbox', which lands him in a WWE title match against Mark Henry.

The great one demands a title shot!
Our first segment is yet more talking, proving that wrestling nowadays has become more about the drama than the wrestling regardless of what show you follow.  The Rock comes out to talk about his match with Cena and his future plans after beating Cena.  He breaks character completely by saying thank you to Cena, which is bullshit since Rock carried his useless ass the entire match and actually sold his moves.  He also says he respects him, which again makes little sense, since everything he said prior to the match was about how much he didn't respect him.  I know you could say that he has since gained a new found respect for the guy, but really?  This should have been a situation where the Rock told everyone that he was right and that he is the greatest of all time, not start rabbiting on about how great the guy is.  After that crap he then tell's everyone that he isn't done with the WWE, and now holds onto a vision he had to become the WWE champion once again.  I can imagine alot of online message boards lighting up with hate over this, but face facts here people, it will sell alot of tickets.  I should make mention that during this segment and the rest of RAW the crowd chants either 'Daniel Bryan' or 'Yes yes yes yes yes yes'.  Probably because everyone was pissed over the whole eighteen second match they had for him on Wrestlemania.

United States Championship Match - Santino Marella VS Jack Swagger VS Dolph Ziggler

Why does he mince to the ring?
I have to ask this, but why does Santino mince his way to the ring?  If the character is meant to be gay then thats fine, but at least tell us so it has some context even if it is a horrible stereotype of homosexuals.  I mean he is already a massive stereotype of italian people anyway, and of course American audiences love stereotyping other cultures, so this is perfectly acceptable.  Also is the mincing thing supposed to be funny?  I just remember when Santino used to wrestle when he was a heel and still be entertaining, ever since going face he just annoys the crap out of me and hardly wrestles other than to perform his own version of the five moves of doom.  The match itself plays out like any triple threat involving two heel's and a face champion, they beat the crap out of Santino until it comes time to pin him.  They fight each other over who will get the title and obviously lose because Santino pulls out a quick hit for the win.  Post match Dolph and Swagger continue to beat Santino until he is saved by Brodus Clay.  Clay lays out both heel's and then dances with Santino.  Somehow this reminds of 2cool back in the day, you know with the dancing fat guy in the past being Rikishi, now replaced by Brodus.  The crowd chant for Daniel Bryan.

Single's Match - Alex Riley VS Lord Tensai

A-train is back.......erm hooray?
Yeah so Riley is now on jobbing detail so don't expect any offence from him against Tensai.  Tensai is played the returning A-train, now with Kanji tattoo's and other tribal tats.  Tensai mauls Riley so badly the ref stops the match and declares Tensai the winner.  This doesn't stop Tensai who proceeds to crush Riley's face resulting in a slight improvement.  I am still confused over WWE bringing back Prince Albert of all people, I mean sure he is big, but he can't fucking wrestle, that's why he was let go in the first place.  He sucked as a single's competitor since he was alway's put into tag team matches to cover for his lack of character, and now he is back he is in a non speaking capacity.  I would have preferred an actual Japanese wrestler over some old guy from the attitude era.  Is this all WWE is going to be now that Hunter's in charge of talent signing's?  Old wrestlers from his day and his friends (looking at you Sheamus).  Oh yeah the crowd chant for Daniel Bryan.

WWE Championship Match - CM Punk VS Mark Henry

Probably the best match of the night by far, and once again it's Punk who brings it.  This is basically the match we should have seen between Cody Rhodes and Big Show last night.  Punk sell's Henry like crazy, taking a real beating from him.  Henry obviously has a tough fight from Punk but always looks like he is on his way to winning the title.  Punk get's lucky when Henry throws him outside and can't get up in time before the ten count.  Henry wins by DQ, but doesn't get the title.  Being pissed by this he hit's Punk with the World's strongest slam and leaves.  Jericho then appears from the crowd to capitalise on this and pour's cold tea I mean alcohol down Punk's throat, before smashing another bottle over his head.  I guess we will be seeing more Punk V Jericho then in the near future, which should be good.  DANIEL BRYAN!

"I heard your match at Mania was shit. I agree"
Sheamus comes down to ring to a rather mixed reaction from the fans.  I don't blame them really since he went along with the squash idea and ruined what could have one of the best matches of Wrestlemania.  Sheamus is already disliked due to his friendship with Triple H in real life, so his squash win will only fuel that.  Shemaus doesn't say much before he is interrupted by the return of Alberto Del Riiiiiiiioooooo!  The crowd pop for Alberto big time.  Alberto tell's Sheamus that he will be facing him on smackdown in a match where if he wins he will get a shot at the heavyweight title.  Sheamus then kicks him in the face.  The crowd kind of like Alberto, but also realise that if he does get the title shot then Daniel Bryan is out of the title picture, so they are mixed.  They still chant for Bryan regardless.

Single's Match - Cody Rhodes VS Kofi Afterthought

This isn't really a match since it lasts around a minute before Big Show gets some revenge on Cody by playing new video entitled 'Cody Rhode's most embarassing wrestlemania moments' and shows him being knocked out by Show to some cartoon music.  With this distraction Kofi hits Cody with the 'trouble in paradise' and gets the pin. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
Put that jobber down and listen

Backstage Mark Henry is approached by some guy, who I think is Abraham Washington correct me if I am wrong here since I don't watch Smackdown.  He offers Henry representation, to be his manager I guess and gives him his card.  Henry will likely accept.

Eve wastes some time on stage telling everyone she manipulated Zack Ryder and that only powerful men like John Laurniaitis are immune to such powers.  Sucking up to the new boss I guess for shots at the Diva's title.

Single's match - The Miz VS Zack Ryder

This match was ok, going for a few minutes and allowed both guy's to get some offence in.  Ryder was working off the whole angry face angle, while Miz was acting like he had got his mojo back after winning the match at mania.  Ryder looks set to win after putting in a pretty brutal beatdown on Miz, but is countered at the critical moment before being knocked out the 'skull crushing finale'.  DANIEL BRYAN! YES YES YES! DANIEL BRYAN! YES YES YES!
It's not been a good year for Ryder

Our final segment involves Cena coming out to do what the rock earlier in the night.  He also respects Rock blah blah blah, but he won't be leaving, instead wanting to face Rock in the arena one last time to talk face to face.  He gets a daniel bryan chant going, even though the crowd was already chanting for Bryan anyway, and then says Bryan "owes him one".  Owes you what Cena?  Byran got chants the entire evening without even appearing in the ring and only being interviewd briefly backstage, you nugget!  The crowd also chant for Brock lesnar, who was supposed to the surprise for the end of the night, but since its hard these days to keep a secret in wrestling everyone already knew and just wanted to see him.  Cena pretends he doesn't know what they are talking about until the world's angriest midget's music hits and gets a massive pop from the crowd.  Lesnar comes to ring and drops Cena with the F5.  So Cena will now be feuding with another ex attitude era wrestler then.
Luigi always was the least popular Mario brother anyway

Overall this RAW was pretty good, at least we got plenty of matches and some surprise returns and debuts.  I am looking forward to seeing more of Laurniaitis' GM work, Lord Tensai feuding with Brodus Clay (you know its coming) and the further development of Jericho and Punk.


DM.paul said...


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